Short jokes
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.
What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?
I moustache you a question.
Why do lions 🦁 go to SUBWAY 🥪?
Because they like to EAT FLESH.
What can fly?
Bird.
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
What did the orphan say to the parent?
Oh, wait!
Iran? More like tin can, cause we’re going to kick their teeth in, am I right?
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.
What did one Koala say to the other?
"Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAaugh!"
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.