Short jokes
What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
Yo momma is so hungry that she ate your peanuts!
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.