Short jokes
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.
Sadly, he didn't see it coming.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Have you seen all the pants with crazy designs on them? I mean, britches be crazy!
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!