Short jokes
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
Guess what?
Good guess.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
What's 2+2?
4.
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.