Short jokes
Why is the orphan so dumb?
Because he didn’t have parents to pay for it.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
What’s the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A stoner has papers.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Algorithm.
Algorithm who?
Think Algorithm to the store.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.