Short jokes
When I was a child, I was made to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog.
What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Bring 'em young.
Test.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
Today I asked my sis to take out the trash, and I shoved her outside!
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.