Short jokes
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Poop fell off the earth.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Medusa makes men hard.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.