Short jokes
Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
Grocery stores are like IKEA: you have to assemble the food yourself.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.
oOO laLA!
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me.
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
Viggie tickles.
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
What's India's favorite font?
Comic Sanskrit.
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
How do you know that your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes weird.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.