Short jokes
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
I like the iceberg... my favorite character was the iceberg!
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."
"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
One man walks up to another and says, "Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at Main Street?" The guy says, "No." The other guy says, "Oh, he woke up."
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!