Short jokes
What do incest families do on Halloween?
Pumpkin.
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
My life is like a broken pencil, it's pointless.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
What did I say to you? You suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, boiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
Best chick ever.
Call me at 6969696969.
Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning!
"What? Where?"