Short jokes
*Watches sad movie with family*
Everyone else: *Crying*
Sister: How aren't you crying?
Me: I have no tears left to cry...
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.
And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.