Short jokes
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.
Boy: Hey! I love you...
Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.
*boy sent a pic of his dic*
Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Your mum isn't home.
Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
Did you hear about the gay choirboy?
He choked on his first hymn.
What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
My teacher is a rapist.
I will mummyfry you!
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.