My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
Short Jokes
What kind of pillow makes sounds?
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
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What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
I don't understand why people hide under their blankets. It's not like the killer's gonna be like, "I'm gonna kill-....ahh man he's under his blanket."
Poop fell off the earth.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?
An orange tree! :>
