Short jokes
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
I like zebras.
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
What did an orange say the day before going to work?
"Back to the rind!"
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today.
Now they call him Hot Wheels.
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
Herrit?