Short jokes
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
I hate my wife.
*cue laugh*
My teacher said he is gonna call my dad, I can't wait to meet him! 🥰🥰🥰
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
What’s a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?
My friend: Chunky dunks.
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
Nosy.
What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.