Short jokes

Short jokes

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Minecraft

  • Asdf movie: meow meow I’m a cow.

    Me to my villagers in Minecraft: chick chick my guns cocked so frick.

    Gun

  • If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

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    Simp

  • When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.

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    Child

  • What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

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  • Suicide

  • Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

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    Week

  • Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"