Short jokes

Short jokes

What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?

They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!

What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.