Short jokes

What happens when animals do a squat?

It doesn't become pretty...

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

What's a bison's favorite gun?

A PP Bizon.

What's a knife's favorite person?

The victim.

What's a prisoner's favorite game?

Hangman!

When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"

Why are supercars so super? Because it is superfast, lol.

My friend is blind.

So he always says he cannot Nazi.

What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?

You can get on with a prostitute!

Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.

Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?

Because he's British.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.

Sneed feed seed.

Formerly Chuck's!

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)

iykyk

Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.

I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.

Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.

Why can orphans only use Samsung?

Because they don't have a home button.