Short jokes
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
Mom said drugs are my enemies. God said love your enemies. What do I tell her?
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...
I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.
Sike, that's the wrong number!
ooooooooooooooooooooo
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
Labor party.
The Americans.
Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?
John: I don't know.
Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why did the robber take a shower before his robbery?
So he could make a clean getaway!
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
What is a monster's favorite place to swim?
Lake Erie!
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
Why do orphans prefer trucks? Because, unlike their parents, it is different.
What can't a sniper say to his wife?
"I missed you."