Short jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
My friend, what's up?
Me: What's up in space is planets and stars.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?
Do not sort... that's bad... *sigh in depression*
"Where are you? [Because you] make me wanna throw up every time I see you."
What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.
Eggy joke for all to enjoy!
Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.
That’s why no one will be hurt.
This will happen in your future, though, now because you're mean.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.