Short jokes
The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.
Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."
Kid: 😭
If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.
I bought a new camera once. Every shot I took was killer!
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
In the year 2020, who were the biggest enemies?
Coronavirus and toilet paper.
frshfry we need to talk now!
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
BLM.
Why do you keep repeating the same joke?
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The guy behind the bar says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets!"
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
Suicide
Jesus.
What, I am an autist..... Villads?