Short jokes
Why did the rapper sit on the stool?
Because he had too much FLOW to stand still!
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of fishing?
Catching BIG BASS.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A speech impediment.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What’s one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.