Short jokes
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
What's a psych ward worker's favorite incense?
Insurance fraud.
What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?
tweezers.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
What do the initials ACLU stand for?
🤔
American Communist Lawyers Union.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
Zachary Disease Joke 🤣🤣🤣
https://youtu.be/xtmB7mZDYAs
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
Bullets.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.