Short jokes

Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

I woke up today, and my mom said it was 1940.

Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.

Friend: Why?

Me: So they would hang themselves.

A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.

I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

"My bum hurts!"

Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.

Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.

I want to date depression cuz at least I know they won't leave me.

Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).

Fraser smells.

riding (DYM 145).

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

Sally's used to being blind!

Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?

1 baby in 10 buckets.

What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?

They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.

What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.

I have a match!

My ass, your face.

What is a pooper man called? A dentist.

Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.

Me: Wow, they found the body already?

Dad: :/

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?