Short jokes
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Any food an orphan has is a family-sized meal.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
[Parent’s signature: __________]
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
I like the satisfying sounds of your butt being spanked.
If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
I scored.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
I am a volcano.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.