Short jokes
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?
Penis, neck, rope?
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep them in my basement until it’s time to hang them from a tree.
Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
I was sweating like Michael Jackson in a Chuck E. Cheese.
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021