Short jokes
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.
His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."
Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.
The "f" in "orphan" means family, even though there's no "f."
What do you call a kid that lives alone?
An orphan. ;)
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
Chuck Norris doesn't need to be vaccinated. Vaccines need to be Chuck Norrised.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?
One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
I don't know why there are 26 letters in the alphabet.
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Uff.
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T