Short jokes
9/11 jokes aren't funny. They are just plane wrong.
Teacher's pen is RED, our pen is BLUE, she is marking an EGG on my marksheet, left with questions and no CLUE.
I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.
Damn, this computer stopped working. It's got autism.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
On the day of 9/11, the WTC's ordered cheese and pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
You so gay you have a fat sis and?
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-SCARE-a!