Short jokes
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
O-Block
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
Ya forehead so big Sakura's forehead seemed small.
Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.