Short jokes

Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...

I'm not racist, my best friends are black for Halloween. :)

I don't give two shits about how evil these are. They're funny.

My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.

I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.

That forehead is so tall it can eat a plane! Open wide!

Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.

Roses are red,

my life is a disaster,

the children are fast,

but the combine is F A S T E R!

Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.

I know you came here to feel good about yourself...

What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?

A killstreak.

You can’t land on Uranus XD

Why do they call it America when literally nothing is free?

Kid: Wanna hear a joke?

Me: Sure.

Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?

Me:?

I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.

"Hold my beer, watch this."

I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.

What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"