Short jokes

Short jokes

When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.

What did one butthole say to the other?

"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"

You know why they call her Wonder Woman?

She's always wondering where she parked her invisible jet.

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Why do orphans love to play family?

Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.

I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?

Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.