Short jokes

What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo.

What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?

They're both fat.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌

Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.

What do you call a racist community? America.

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.

Who wants to fight!? Hate?! And pick on each other through the comments.

ANYONE?

My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!

What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?

She can't identify you.

Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.

Stephen Hawking talks by clicks. Two clicks is "hi," and five is "dab me up."

Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Of a bad internet connection.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

Be careful around fire, plastic melts.

Me: Jaiden telling orphan jokes to my friend.

That orphan behind me...

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!