Short jokes
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
Hey, do you know who Dragon248 is? No, who is he? He's dragging these balls off your face.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Little boys turn them on.
When I was feeling suicidal, I called the suicide hotline and they left me hanging.
I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.
What’s one thing a man can do that a woman can’t?
Sit down and shut up.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liqueur cabinet.
What's the difference between hungry and horny?
Where you stick the cucumber.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.