Short jokes

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They don't have a home plate.

Who ended Franz Ferdinand's COD account?

He ended with a Black Handed bang.

What do Shrek and onions have in common?

*LAYERS*

When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.

Your favorite music artist is Cardi B? I prefer Cardi A+ if I'm being honest.

What do farts fly with?

Smellicopters!

I wish I had emo nails,

So they could cut themselves.

What's an orphan's least favorite theme song? The Barney theme song.

I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.

I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.

I wasn't clean after this.

If you kill someone, that's murder.

If you kill a family member, that's still murder.

If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."

Why is Delta jealous?

Because Omicron took the final kill.

Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?

They moan louder than your speakers.

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

When the moon hits the earth,

IT Moon-chan kissing Earth-chan.

What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?

A, B, C you in hell.

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.

I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."

Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"

I troll under different usernames. I'm a bit all over the place mentally.