Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
Why do men like big tits and a flat ass?
Because they got little dicks and big mouths.
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
I like my wife like I like my coffee: so sweet, it gives me headaches.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
Why the "hell" is this here?
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.
Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.
Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?
Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!
