Short jokes
What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
Why is rape, rape? Because she is too busy enjoying the moment to say yes.
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Women be like, "Don't body shame," then goes to body shame men's heights.