Short jokes
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Don't free Britney!
How do you get away with rape?
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
If a priest listens to sad music in his church, he really enjoys being deep in minor.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
The Titanic before the iceberg be like: "We can't go under it, we gotta go through it!"
What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?
Not all are friends.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.
You know, for his sake.