Short jokes
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?
Barlos.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Who do you see over there???
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
Who needs Singles Day when you're single for the rest of your life!
Father's Day is a dad joke.
Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!
What's white, red, blue, and brown all over?
The American flag I used to wipe my ass with.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
They say the polar ice caps are melting, good, because my wife's a fat, cold bitch.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.