Short jokes
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
Do you want to hear a dark joke? Let me turn the lights off.
Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.