Short jokes
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
What is half of nine?
"ni"
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic!
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
"What’s your name?"
"Am erica."
"No, I asked for your name, not your country."
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
What did the orphan say to the adopter?
Nothing, he just stared.
You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!
You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?
It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.