Short jokes
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
TIL Ariana Grande is actually a pop singer.
I thought it was a fancy coffee for white supremacists.
Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
I have a picture of Uranus on my computer.
What is Godzilla’s least favorite ball?
A King Kong ball.
What's an emo's least favorite show?
Dr. Phil.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
What store is the most public?
Publix!
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!