Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
Please stop hurting people's feelings, or they'll hang around the house.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
