Short jokes
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
Joe mama so dumb she studies for the COVID test.
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
Fortnite Battle Pass.
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
What did the naked man say to the naked woman?
"Suck my dick."
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
What is the most gangster paper?
Rapping paper.
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
Hispanic and Latino people be like, "No more immigrants!" Like, dude, aren't you an immigrant?
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.