Short jokes
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!
Innit.
Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
This boy's eyebrow was so bushy, everyone thought that it was a squirrel tail! XD
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
AB💿
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.