Short jokes
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.
Don’t bother me none, babe!
Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!
“Hol up”
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
Butter believe it.
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
What do you call identical tall people? Twin Towers.
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.