Short jokes
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just hacked the "chrime."
When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.
How do baseballs communicate?
They touch base!
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
What's an emo black kid called? A dark Drakie.
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
What's the most emo name?
Carter.