Short jokes

Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.

Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.

Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.

When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.

You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.

Law is temporary. Syria is eternal.

People are arguing about stopping orphan jokes.

Me: m e h. i d o n t c a r e.

Yeah yeah.

Vaseline

Kid: Hi.

Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?

Kid: Why are you rude?

Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

I love trash bags because they remind me of my heart... black.

So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.

Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?

Because they are not going to work.

A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...

She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."