Short jokes
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
Donald Trump will return to Twitter.
I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
POV: Your dad is gone.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad. LMAO.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
We’ve got to celebrate our differences! 👻🤝🐵🤝🍚🤝🌮🤝💣🤝🏳️🌈🤝🍔🤝🥖🤝🍕
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
I ate a man because he was dead!
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
I miss my wife, Tails.
Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
Yo mamma so old that when she farts, we have to dust again.
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.