Short jokes
Butter believe it.
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
What do you call identical tall people? Twin Towers.
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
Will Smith's slap was like 9/11. It came in unexpectedly and will go down in history.
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.