Short jokes
AB💿
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
Why do orphans cry at insurance places?
They got offered the family plan.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.