Short jokes
Update: I got banned from BIGO Live.
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
Nobody: People on the Titanic: *SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
God is good. God is great.
Misogyny? More like misogelbow.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Why did UK want Northern Ireland for more s***?