Short jokes

Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.

What do Jesus and I have in common?

No one knows my real bday either.

Official orgasm donor.

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?

Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."

Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld

How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.

Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.

Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.

My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"

Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.

What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.

What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."

I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

Why was an oven so smart?

It had 70 degrees.