Short jokes
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
We have decided to delete this part of this site on 10/24/2022.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
I got caught peeing in the pool.
The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
Where are the best shooting ranges in America?
Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
Boobies!
"Morbius" is a bad movie (jokey).
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
My username good.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Vagina?
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.