Short jokes
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.
What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!
Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender
What game does an emo hate the most?
Life!
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
Fard.
Takis.
Blue Takis?
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
Q: What happens when emos make out?
A: They don't; they just hang out.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.