Short jokes
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.
Deals is bully, right? Denise, like a bully type of rock, is a piggy.
I saw my sister sucking a big toe.
Nemo turned emo and changed his movie name to "Finding Emo."
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)