Short jokes
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
Mommy, mommy! Are we outlaws? Your stepmom thinks so.
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?
Shut up and pass me the note.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we werewolves?
Shut up and comb your face.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.