Short jokes

I think I know why Stephen Hawking died, he pressed Alt+F4.

You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.

What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?

A bonnet.

The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.

How did they lose 2 Towers?

Reason: They just fell, just like how it did in Jenga.

(I d*n't care if it's a bad joke, ok?)

Did you fart, cause you blew me away?

Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)

Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.

Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.

What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?

You can pop their head off.

"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."

9/11 pilots are the best readers.

They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.

Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

NASA recently found evidence of water on Mars... Mars 1, Africa 0.

Why do girls play handball? Because they want to feel balls.

But then why do boys want to? Oh...

You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.

AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!

I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.

Normal people: I'm my own nationality.

Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.