Short jokes
Kiwi loves men.
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
That was so funny, I forgot to laugh.
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?
'Cause they're the ones making the toys.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Ethiopian with a McDonald's Voucher.
"I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."
"What type of book is it?"
"An autobiography."
What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.
Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.