Shes jokes

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

Why was Sally sad?

Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.

"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.

She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"

My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

Children are so ungrateful nowadays. I got my daughter a bike, but now she’s crying on the floor saying, “I don’t have legs!”

Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama so old, she was there when Moses was born.

Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally...

How did she die?

A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

A bomb.

What did the girl say when she ran through the door?

Ouch.

I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.

She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.

Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!

Yo mama so fat, she went to space and there was no space left.

"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?

She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.