Shes jokes

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.

Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

We are in a matrix, wake up.

Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"

Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."

The other man says, "How do you know?"

The other man says, "Because she is dead."

Yo mama so "PHAT," she has big boobs and nice legs!

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."

Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

Why was Sally sad?

Because she couldn't play pattycake. Sally doesn't have arms.

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.

"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.

She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"

My sister beat me in a race. She gave me a raspberry. I was bitter.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"