Shes jokes

Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on an AirPod Pro, she turned it into an iPad!

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

Your mama so slow, she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?

Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer? Because she's a girl.

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.

Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.

Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!

Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.