Shes jokes

My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.

Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.

Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!

Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.

Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

We are in a matrix, wake up.

Yo mama so old, she witnessed Noah building the ark.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"

Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.

Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.

What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."

The other man says, "How do you know?"

The other man says, "Because she is dead."

Yo mama so "PHAT," she has big boobs and nice legs!

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."

Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!