She jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"
One Easter Sunday, a man goes to church and returns home with two black eyes.
His wife inquires as to how he got the black eyes.
The man goes on to say, “a lady stood up in front of me during mass, I saw her dress was stuck in her butt crack, so I reached out and tugged it out. She whirled around, became furious, and punched me in the eye.”
“That explains one black eye,” the wife says, “but what about the other?” The man explains, “I figured she must have liked her dress stuck up in her butt crack, so when she turned around I stuffed it back up there.”
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.
So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!
Yo mama is so stupid that she asked how much is a free sample.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.
Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?
Because she loved raisin' kids!
Yo mama's so fat, people think she only has one side!
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]