She jokes

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.

Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.

Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!

My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

There is this girl at school, and she gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why doesn’t she stand up for herself?

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.

Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”

She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.

Yo mama so fat, she went outside and became the sun.

Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.

Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"

Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.

Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

We are in a matrix, wake up.

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."