She jokes
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
What did Allan say to his sister bully when she stepped on his toe? "Mitosis!"
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? She gagged and moaned.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
Yo mama so fat, She the iceberg.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Susie.
I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
Meya eats meat all her sins is go off when she eat meat.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV, I missed 3 episodes!
My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.