Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
My favorite sex positis the JFK: I splatter all over her as she screams & tries to get out of the car
I saw a guy raping a girl in the park, so I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against the two of us.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
why did the girl fall off the swing........... coz she had no arms bants hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha
A boy with Down Syndrome was talking with his mom.
“Mom, why did God make me like this?” he said.
“It’s because God made you special,” she said.
“Just kidding, I was only talking about your needs.”
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock Knock...*whos there*...Not Sally
YO MAMA SO FAT SHE IS FAT
